Lessons in patience

For those of you who are somewhat new to my little corner of the internet, I’d like to welcome you. I strictly adhere to the “Slow-Blogging” movement, really by default more than a lack of things to say. I still struggle daily with pain in my wrists, which has forced me to pick and choose my activities for the day. Blogging is usually pretty low on the list. If you can’t get enough of my charm and wit 😉 ha! Please feel free to follow me on instagram @breezyink1989. I will give you fair warning though, that during the winter, pictures are largely of my cats…and the copious amounts of snow we’ve received. During the summer I take a lot of pictures of the beautiful outdoors in Northern Michigan that I get to call home.

This is one of those percolating posts…I’ve thought a lot about what sort of things I’d like to share on this blog. In the past I’ve done a lot of craft and food and history related posts; and rarely do I wax on about philosophies and life’s big questions, etc etc etc. Today we’re stepping out of the creating box and into my sitting room so we can chat over a cup of hot coffee; or tea if you’d rather. The Bear and I have ongoing discussions about current events, about the state of the country, the state of the world etc. Now mind you, we don’t have cable TV so we have to search out News ourselves. I follow NPR on twitter and do my research from there if the story requires it. All of this discussion makes me think (darn!) about life, and the world, about humans, about God. It forces me to confront and reconcile with the icky things that happen here on planet Earth. If nothing else though it has confirmed and reconfirmed time and time again my faith. I have been almost unfairly blessed. With a good childhood, lovely family, a reasonable education, a wonderful husband,  a fantastic job and we’ve always had enough. When I was a teenager I found a heart verse. Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you.” To be honest for a long time this was the only part of the bible that was a part of my daily life. I left the church when I was 18, I don’t consider myself a “Christian.” But I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt in God and in his love for us. That verse has proved true in my life time and time again.  Does this mean my life has been easy? Compared to some, yes. Compared to others, no. My life like everyone else is not always a walk in the park with the rainbow farting unicorns. I have bad days, and good days and in between days. But the point of that promise is that life is going to suck sometimes, it just is. But you are not left on your own. You are not forgotten, you are not forsaken. Never. 

Sometimes though, it feels like I’ve been forgotten, it feels like I’m wandering through life on my own, and just exactly when I need it, God has put something or someone in my path to remind me that I am not forgotten. But waiting is hard, especially when you are waiting in the dark. Who likes waiting for things? no one. This is pretty evident in the way modern society is structured, there’s instant gratification for almost anything you can think of. All at the tips of our pretty little fingers. Which is great, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes God asks us to wait for things, because he has something better for us. Last July my poor little 1996 Nissan finally took too big of a dump to fix. The brake lines had rusted out.. So the car goes just fine, it just doesn’t really stop… it was going to cost about $1,000 to fix it. This was after we had just spend that last year having costly repairs on the same car done, and 6 months with a very sick elderly cat friend, in addition to the regularly scheduled costs of being a grown up.  So we couldn’t drive the car anymore. Now in the midst of all this car nonsense, we are blessed enough to live a short lovely 5-10 minute bike ride from work. 5 minute bike ride to the little grocery store and access to the internet and a mailing address for everything else. So not having a car? not tooooooo bad. But come winter, we were going to need a car. We didn’t really have the money to just go out and buy a new car, nor the transportation to even go shopping for said car. (we live 20+ miles from the closest biggish town.) So I prayed about it, I knew God would send us a vehicle when the time was right. A few weeks later, my mother-in-law very kindly offered one of her two vehicles to us. It’s a tiny little 2 door, front wheel drive, volkswagen jetta convertible with lots of funny quirks as most older cars tend to have. Not exactly the ideal car for getting around in a Michigan winter…(especially this one!!!!!!!) We are blessed to be able to take the winter’s off from work and eliminate the need to be out on the roads regularly. Until we headed downstate just before Christmas…as we slid down i75 the little car fishtailing on the solid sheet of ice that was pretending to be a road, God and I had a long conversation. Mostly about road conditions, and the weather and the scary semi-trucks that pass tiny cars on snowy roads…but also about how nice it would be to have a proper car. I was never so happy to get back home safe and sound than I was from that trip. I haven’t really thought about a new car since then. I knew I wanted a Subaru Outback, but I doubted we’d be able to afford one anytime soon.

Well God had some other ideas. Last week, just out of the blue, I decided to google used Outbacks, just to get a ballpark idea on prices and perhaps we could afford one later this year. I ended up finding the perfect car. A 2005 Subaru Outback. It’s only had one owner prior to this, and then the dealer used it as a driving car for a while, it’s been thoroughly maintained, including the replacement of the very expensive timing belt in the engine. And it was priced quite a bit lower than most of the other Outbacks…(although not so low that it’s sketchy….) So just for fun, I e-mailed the dealership to get some more information and things picked up from there. Not only was the car still available, but we qualified for an auto-loan (loans are very difficult to acquire when you only work 6/7 months out the year…) at a reasonable rate and they monthly payments are even lower than what I had asked for. We’re going downstate on sunday/monday to pick it up! After 6 months of waiting (mostly patiently…) the precise car we needed came our way. 

So…what’s the point of all this? The point is, sometimes life sucks and sometimes the good things seem to far away, out of reach. Sometimes you have to bundle up in many layers and peddle into the really really strong cold wind trying to get home… But if you believe that you will not be forsaken, you will not be forgotten, you learn to see blessings in the everyday things. Actively look for blessings in your everyday. (Those bike rides to and from work allowed me time in the fresh air and some peace of nature going to and from work.) You will not be disappointed. And every now and then God sends a lovely surprise. This, the every day blessings are what give me the hope and the faith and the forgiveness to reconcile with the icky things in the world. Because even in the midst of the ick you are not forgotten.

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P.S. A quick rabbit trail on the nature of this post. I’m not religious, I haven’t been to church in years. But I’ve never walked away from God. I wasn’t sure if this type of post has a place on this blog. But…it’s my blog so I can do whatever I want?. I realize it’s a little preachy, a little sermony, but these are the words I’ve been given. I no longer believe that women can’t be leaders in the faith. (I was given a strong impression pretty early on that women have no place in leadership aside from supporting their spouses or other women.) I have a calling on my life. I have a calling to leadership, to nurture my fellow humans in love, faith, hope and kindness. And I have a blog so that I can whisper my words into the box and add to the noise of the internet, I might as well use it to whisper good  into the world. 

Don’t worry, I’ll get back to sharing recipes and crafts (We eat pretty boring in the winter, and I haven’t done much crafting so far either.), this is merely a new section of ideas, another part of myself that I’d like to share with you.

I welcome any and all comments, but please be kind, be respectful of your fellow trolls.

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